Mike and Jessie

This is my 3^rd time writing a letter like this, and it never gets easier. There isn’t a “how to” guide on writing a letter about thanking another woman for considering my family to raise her precious baby. To start, I want to thank you, for life, for love, for adoption if you so choose, and for choosing our profile to consider. We have such an intense respect for birth mothers, which I hope you will see and understand as you read this letter.

I’m currently in the throes of raising 2 adopted children. The relationship I have with each of their birthmothers looks vastly different, but I pray like you, that they feel the love I have for them and for their children daily.

Adoption was always on our ‘wish’ list of “things we’d like to be able to do someday”. Knowing full well that adopting and parenting adopted children is not for everyone, we felt called. Each time, we were affirmed in our decision by the Lord blessing us with grants, fundraising, people praying for our family and our future birth families, and little nods here and there that what we were doing is the right thing. We in no way/shape/form adopt for our own glory or praise. When we adopted our first child, we knew we wanted her to have a sibling. But specifically, we wanted her to have a sibling she was connected to. Mike and I have no idea what it’s like to be adopted, so we feel like it’s immensely important for them to have this commonality to share with each other as they grow and encounter “family tree” projects in school and knowing that their family tree looks much bigger than all their classmates’.

I grew up in a pretty typical family. My dad worked and my mom stayed home to take care of me and my sister. They’re still married and have been a picture of what Mike and I strive to be. We were raised in church; my parents were extremely supportive of every sport or academic event. I know without a doubt that is where I got my drive and desire to parent. I want our kids to feel loved, supported, cheered for, safe, and confident. My sister and her husband have a son, and they live very close. They cannot wait to have another little kiddo to love on.

I met Mike when I was almost done with college. He is 7 years older than me, so we were both at about the same “stage” of life when I got done with school. I wanted to settle down, and he already had a house. We dated for a little over a year and a half before getting married. We sold our first house, moved in with my parents, and built a new house all within our first year of marriage. We always joke about the fact that if we survived that, we can survive anything together. He is my person, the one who can fix anything, and is my sounding board and soothing voice when I need.

We married in 2010, tried to get pregnant for a few years, and then completely moved on from anything fertility related. We jumped into growing our family by adoption with both feet. It was the best decision we have ever made. We welcomed Laila in 2015 and Maggie in 2022. We know without a doubt that we are supposed to care for the children that are entrusted to us. That’s the best way I can describe it to anyone. That we are stepping into place when you can’t, and that you will hand pick the very best family you can because after all, it is your selfless sacrifice that allows all of this to happen. I want you to feel confident about your decision, and that, though there may be doubts, you will know that your child is loved and cared for.

We want you to know that we promise to always be there for your child. Middle of the night wake ups, slow morning snuggles, busy bustling Saturdays, ballet practice or karate lessons. We will make sure they are taught to love and care for others. We will support their creativity. We will remind them daily of their story. We want your child to feel a seamless closeness to our children, that we become family. The family you choose. For them.

From one mother to another, I’m praying for you and your baby.

Jessie