The power of our words also applies to adoption. Our feelings about adoption are often expressed in the words that we use. These words don’t just convey the “facts”, they also convey our values.
Using “Positive Adoption Language” can help stop misconceptions surrounding adoption. These words can express that adoption is a planned, valid choice in making a family. They help us to say that adoption is a way to build a family just as birth is. It allows us to talk about triad members and about adoption plans without emotional connotations.
It is our desire that as we speak and write in positive adoption language, that this language will someday become the norm. We desire to express the true nature of adoption without the innuendos and misconceptions.
Current Positive Language |
Outdated Negative Language |
|
| Birth Parent | Real Parent | |
| Birth Father / Mother | Real Father / Mother | |
| Biological Parent | Natural Parent | |
| Biological Father / Mother | Sperm Donor / Egg Donor | |
| Birth Child | Own Child | |
| My Child / Adopted Child | Own Child | |
| Parent | Adoptive Parent | |
| Born to Unmarried Parents | Illegitimate | |
| Child Placed for Adoption | An Unwanted Child | |
| Child in Need of Adoption | An Unwanted Child | |
| Waiting Child | Adoptable Child, Available Child | |
| Child with Special Needs | Handicapped, Disabled, or Hard to Place | |
| Child from Abroad | Foreign Child | |
| International/Inter-country adoption | Foreign Adoption | |
| Interracial | Mixed Race | |
| Was Adopted | Is Adopted | |
| Adoption Triad | Adoption Triangle | |
| Adoption Agreement | Surrender | |
| Terminate Parental Rights | Give Up or Give Away | |
| Court Termination | Taken Away | |
| Make an Adoption Plan | Give Up or Give Away | |
| Permission to Sign a Release | Disclosure | |
| To Parent | To Keep | |
| To Search / To Locate | Track Down Parents | |
| Making Contact With | Reunion | |
| Primary Provider | Program Agency | |
| Exempt Provider | Homestudy Agency |